“We have detected a possible issue with the baby’s heart. We will need to run an EKG to know more and see what next steps need to be taken.” These are the words that were spoken to my wife and me only 24 hours after the birth of my son, Shepherd. I sat watching my little boy sleep in the hospital bassinet. He seemed so peaceful and tranquil, but I also watched as his breath appeared in rapid succession, which I had not truly noticed up until then. We had assumed everything was fine, and now it seemed like our world was spinning off into turmoil.
I have long suffered with anxiety in my life, and these words threatened to send me into a spiral of despair. What people often overlook is what happens after the doctor delivers unwanted news and then leaves the room. You feel alone and helpless, isolated and afraid. Andrea and I were left alone with our son and utterly helpless to the event occurring around us. We, of course, cried and then encouraged each other; we knew that the doctors were going to do everything they could to find out what was going on. We gave each other pep talks, held Shepherd, and waited for the Doctor to return to take our son to the EKG.
And of course, we prayed.
